espletts

I have a reprieve from Miss Beans departure into the great beyond. She perked up amazingly well on Saturday. Did a total 180. I called the vet and asked what I should do she told me I should ride it out and enjoy the small gift I've been given. It may last a couple of days or weeks or months. But enjoy it until she takes a turn again. The vet gave me her number and I'm to give her a call when this happens. I am going to enjoy the time I have with the little girl and continue love her and spoil her rotten. Thank you all for your support through this difficult time. She really was doing that badly I thought it was time for her. You will all most likely hear from me again. But for right now thanks for listening and being there for me. Bean is family to me and means much to me. Thanks.

I am about to do the hardest thing in my life. The cute kitty you see in the picture has been in my life since she was a kitten. And now it has come time time to say goodbye. She has kidney failure and the vet thinks she has cancer. I cannot afford all the tests to confirm the cancer; but even if she did she is too old and frail to be put through anymore. She has stopped eating and I cannot do much for her, I've tried. So instead of having her suffer I must say goodbye my friend and pray that she finds a better place beyond what there is here. I do believe there is a better place, I do believe in Heaven and I know when my time comes too I'll meet all the people and critters that I've had to say goodbye to so far. May God keep you and bless you Miss Bean. You've been a wonderful friend, never judgmental, always there, and always listening to my crap when I needed someone to talk to. I love you you cute ball of fluff! You are my little girl, always!

Gad my life has become so boring. I need something to do with myself I want some work. Does anyone have any ideas on anything that I can do at home for some extra cash? Can I help anyone with anything? Please let me know. Thank you.

More Care2 Stickies Here!

What will you be reincarnated as?
	You will spend your time making advances on all the animals of the opposite sex.
'What will you be reincarnated as?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Hello it has been such a long time and so much has happened. I'm currently sitting at home working with my neurologist to get my meds to where he feels they should be and I feel they should be as well. I currently feel that too much has been taken away now but we'll see. Balancing meds is a tightrope act and that is not happening yet. But when it does I have to find a different job even if it starts as part time. My Doc. said that this is now a chronic condition for the rest of my life. I am trying to get a hold of him today to ask about any disability or working from home programs or something. I really know nothing about this at all. I have hit frustration many moons ago. Some day I'll cry but I can't yet until I quit fighting that's all I know. Anyway that's whats going on and will keep going on from now on. I will now have good patches and bad patches I am told well, if that didn't burst my bubble I don't what did. So that is that for now. May you healthy ones stay healthy! Love to you all!

Well during the WONDERFUL colonoscopy they took out a polyp. They sent it to be analyzed and it came back as cancer. The lump on my chest is just a cyst. I am going to the colon Dr. tomorrow and they will let me know what exactly will happen during the surgery and what not. At least the colon cancer is just that, colon. My breast cancer will not have to be upgraded to a level 4. Thank God! That is my exciting Thanksgiving news how's yours?

Well they found a little lump on my chest that I think might be a cyst. And there is a spot in my colon that looks suspicious and I am having my colonoscopy next week on Tuesday and the lump removed on Wednesday. Loads of fun! (Dripping sarcasm.) So let us hope that the colon is a polyp and the lump on the chest is a cyst and we can all go back to breathing normally, shall we?

Well I had my PET scan last Monday and I will be seeing my Doc tomorrow about the results. I am so nervous.... I'll let everyone know how it went tomorrow. :/ I also have a horrible cold to top it all off. Blech.

Wow, when I looked at my journal I realized how long it has been since I last posted! After the surgery I was informed from the pathology report that the cancer is gone. :) I have been back to work for about 6 weeks now and am getting used to it again. I do have tennis elbow from repetitive motion though and have to wear a brace. I am trying to keep busy and not get too tired out at the same time.

My neurologist is still trying to get my pills ironed out so I will be seizure free and not over medicated at the same time. Otherwise not too much else is going on in this little corner of the world.

I take that last sentence back Brad is going back to school! Whoo-hoo! I will also be going back for my bachelors at the end of December. Otherwise like I said not too much else is happening. Take care you all!

I’ve had a couple of days to relax here at home and it is quite refreshing from the hospital. Here I have my kitties again and Brad to relax with. Brad is back to work but I feel good enough to be on my own even though I am still having medical issues about getting my meds straightened out for my seizures. I see my surgeon tomorrow and she will tell me how much longer I have to have the wound drains in and how I am healing. I will see the oncologist a week after that and he will tell me when I can have radiation and for how long it will be.

May I have help from you guys in getting to appointments? Brad will be able to help me one day a week and radiation is 5 days a week I think it may be around 6 weeks but I do not know for certain as of yet. Please email me or call me and let me know how you are able to help. Thank you! Love to you all!

I will be only overnight in the hospital it looks like. Yea, not too long at all! I will probably leave sometime on the 30th. I thought you would all like to know this if anyone was planning to visit; Brad will be with me all day on the 29th so that is good. Just got a phone call and I was told by a nurse that just preregistered me that it all depends on how I am doing. It is a 24 to 48 hour stay so I will have to wait and see won’t I? Hopefully it will be a 24 hour stay. :) So wish me luck and I will see all of you guys later.

After this Friday the 12th I’ll only have two chemo sessions left. Yippee! The last one will be June 9th and I’m rather looking forward to that. The last one!!!!

It has been one hell of a ride; the chemo stirred up my metabolism and it has been processing my seizure meds faster than needed. So I have been experiencing some seizures which make it unable for me to drive. I have now been put on a new one which is metabolized through the kidneys so it will not be as metabolized as fast. The others are metabolized through the liver. At least now there is better control than there was before. Meds keep getting upped and it is quite hard to adjust but I must plug along the best that I can.

My hemoglobin is low so when I walk around I sound obscene! I breathe hard and have to sit down a lot. I get a shot for it but you’d never know; lol. For very long distances I have to take a wheel chair (which sucks) Brad almost tipped me over several times. I do not think that he is used to driving one.

The current chemo I am on is not that bad compared to the last one. I only sleep one day away as opposed to the whole weekend; which is a good thing. I was not supposed to be as nauseated. This in some ways is true and someways not. I am still nauseated but I don’t barf the weekend away like I used too. The nausea just lasts……but not a lot of barfing. Don’t read this over dinner by the way… ;)

I finally have my associates degree and after I am through with this I will be going back to get my bachelors. So wish me luck it is something that I am unable to do now but am looking forward to in the future. :)

How to make a macradar

Ingredients: 1 part pride 3 parts crazyiness 5 parts joy

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add wisdom to taste! Do not overindulge!

Finally I’m writing! I haven’t been in the mood to do much communicating lately and I am sorry for that. There have been some complications with the chemo that I was not expecting so I have just been lying low and regrouping. Tomorrow there is another chemo treatment and I will have 5 left after that! Yea, counting down! I promise that I will fill you in on what is happening to me after next chemo. I need some answers before I can give any news. There are just too many unanswered questions.

Work is harder than I though it would be. I can only work two days in a row and I am just wiped! I will do what I can though to keep going. I also have one last class before I get my associates and I am taking that now too. My teacher is aware of what is going on and he is supportive and will do what he can to help; from assignment assistance to extra time to hand in an assignment. That is very nice of these teachers. My last two were like that also.



I am just frustrated! Phbbbbt!

I promised someone that I'd post pictures of my haircut and tattoos today but technology failed me. So I will try this evening after Brad gets home and we will try again. Sorry. :(

I will try and post later this week. I just do not feel like it right now. Hugs to all!

2 down and 6 to go! More later.

I will be heading back to chemo this Friday again and I am not looking forward to it. :p Oh well all that means id that I will have 2 down and 6 to go. I sure can’t wait till it is over. This Thursday I will be attending a group called Look Good Feel Better it is sponsored by the American Cancer Society. I will receive $250 dollars worth of makeup and they will show me how to use it since I won’t have any eyebrows. I will need to learn how to put those on so they will look at least decent. I will also be able to get one free wig in the near future from them as well. I will take it to a hair dresser and they will cut it the way I want it. Programs like this are where some of the donations go when you give money to the cancer society.

Tomorrow is my first day back at work in a long time! I hope it doesn’t tire me out too much. I will have to get used to the routine all over again. I will work for 2 days and then I will go to chemo and have a week off. That is about how long it took me to get back to normal again. So basically I will be working one week on and one off. I can’t wait for it to end! I have always said tht God has never given me more than I can handle but this is a new one for me.

My armpit hair quit growing so that means all of my hair has quit as well. This Thursday I will be shaving my head after work. I will be the one to take my hair not the chemo. I will only give it permission to stop it from growing until the chemo is over. I want some control over this stuff! At least this way I will go to my chemo appointment pre bald and at least have my eyebrows. Sigh now those I will sorely miss. I know, I know! They grow back, but I will still miss them.

For those of you that are reading my journal I would like to thank you for signing and sending my get well card. It came yesterday and really cheered me up. OK Tracy you get to give Brian some heck for not signing my card. I looked for his signature and it was not there. :( Just joking Brian! Really thank you all for signing it, it is nice to be thought of at a time like this. One can feel alone at times.
I'm going to try some beef garlic Chinese food now, let's see how that sits! I sure miss food!
I hope to see you all after the 13th I am getting antsy to go back to work!